Nature and Power of Belief and Hope

 Imagine you are walking along a very narrow path. The forest is thick and dark. As you struggle your way along the path, you notice a possible clearing up ahead. In haste, you rush along the path. The clearing becomes more and more welcoming. At last, you take your last step out of the darkness and into what appears to be a safe and inviting clearing. Unfortunately, you failed to look at your final step and realize you've just stepped into quicksand.

As you look around, a large and sturdy branch hangs within reach. You grab hold of the branch. With exertion, you pull yourself free from the quicksand. In that moment, you are placing your faith and hope in that branch to bring you out of harm's way.

In recovery, we come to a place that awakens us to reality. We become radically and rigorously honest with ourselves over our inability to manage our lives. And that we have allowed substance use to become the predominate means of existence. Once we are honest with ourselves, we are able to look toward a way to bring ourselves back onto a path of living differently. We are looking for restoration.

Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves is able to restore us to sanity

There are two distinct principle truths in the second step of any 12-step based recovery support group. The first requires faith and belief. The second reflects our assurance and trust in the capability of being restored. Belief and hope are the two core principles.

As we move from being honest with ourselves, we are now entering into a reality of how we are not at peace. The insanity of our disease may prevent us from bringing our own self out of despair. This is evidenced by the many attempts a person has engaged in their attempt to moderate, control, or even establish some period of abstinence.

When an individual meditates on this step, they are responding to a deep acknowledgement of their own suffering. Through their own personal experience confirms the reality of the struggle to achieve restoration and sanity. This insanity is the crazy ways of thinking and acting that are a real part of our experience. As powerfully devastating substance use causes: we admit our need for something more powerful than our own will and strength.

Despite our present despair. We also admit that possibility exists a way for us to work toward changing our present lives. It is when we finally take this step, we may experience an overwhelming relief. Our sense of hopelessness and powerlessness becomes a hope and empowering encounter toward restoration. This step acknowledges the reality of spiritual healing. It is that moment of clarity when we reach out for help.

It is a deep reflection of our own belief in a healing power that helps us out of our quicksand. An individual finds healing power in others who are in their own sustaining recovery program. It may come with a rekindled passion to reconnect with a faith-based community. Or it may be in those quiet and sacred moments of turning toward the Divine and seeking help in our distress.

We shift our thinking from the illusion of false belief and hope that our substance use may have provided to a more rational and logical belief in something that is more powerful in breaking those chains of bondage.

This hope offered by taking this step is our belief in the possibility of freedom in knowing recovery is attainable. It is attainable because we are on a path toward ending our own suffering. We begin to gain insight in knowing we are healing, learning to forgive self and others, develop a deeper sense of self and love for self and others. An individual begins to find hope in recovering the loss sense of self. Our true nature. Our authentic sense of being.

Along with the belief and hope that is inspired through taking this next step, we are also granting permission. Permission for us to explore ways to find healing. Living a liberated life where we begin to experience insightful and transformative wisdom. It is the path of enlightenment. It's our call to spiritual awakening to the reality of taking our journey of self-actualization.

However, this does not come easily. The healing power of recovery comes when we realize our need to completely surrender our lives over to a power greater than ourselves.

How God meets us where we are

Photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash

One of the most challenge things in being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is having to constantly be aware of one's on-going work toward perfection. Many times, as a Mormon, the constant teaching of, "you have to do this in order for this to happen," came across the pulpit, at firesides and in Sunday School. The tragic loss of this message is that most people who have left the Church finally realize the real freedom in a relationship with Jesus Christ and not being obligated to prove one's self-worth to God.

The simple message of the Gospel, and of the sacrifice the Savior made, is diluted, confused and wrapped in a more humanistic effort to please God. The reality is that because God is sovereign, loving and merciful, he meets us where we are at in the present moment - not where he desires us to be in order to bless us, redeem us, or even forgive us when we falter. Unfortunately, the Mormon faith, it's leaders and many members seemed to have lost sight of this important truth.

Sitting in counsel with the clinical director at the non-profit agency I work at, she said, if you really want to make an impact on the client's life, you have to meet them where they are at and not where you desire them to be. What is being said here is that as much as I want the client's that I work with to be free from their addiction and moving into a healthier lifestyle (which is nothing wrong to have such desire); the reality is that they may not even be ready to be at that point in their own recovery.

In essence, I have to meet them exactly where they are at in the present moment and be aware of their own brokenness, their own perception, and their own challenges and obstacles. Because, for me to constantly desire them to be where I want them to be, they are going to have that much more resistance to change. However, if I meet them where they are at in the present moment without judgment, criticism or expectation, they may eventually find the means necessary to slowly move into their own recovery and change will inevitably happen.

The sovereign creator of the universe also meets each and every one of us where we are at in the present moment. Regardless of what we have done up to that point. Regardless of what may or may not happen after that point. In the present moment of our mortal existence, our loving God meets us. Of course, His desire is to see that we move into a changed lifestyle and have a deep, intimate and meaningful relationship with us. However, that will eventually come to fruition. What matters is in that moment God meets us, we are right where we need to be for him to be there.

Throughout the Bible, we see exactly this pattern of God - meeting people exactly where they are at in the moment of their own need. The savior of the world met people exactly where they were at in the moment of their own need. Without criticism, judgment or expectation. These individuals did nothing to prove to God their worth in meeting their presenting needs.

A simple message, the Gospel, in that we all come to faith at that precise moment when the Grace of God floods our hearts and changes us into a new being - a new person because of the power of the Cross. We did nothing to earn it. Nowhere in the Bible does God say, or Christ say, that we have to first come before him with clean hands and clean hearts. For example, the woman caught in adultery was brought before Christ. The people were prepared to stone her as it was the custom and applicable to the law. However, Christ simply wrote in the sand and asked which one of them is free from sin? When he looked up and sees only the woman, his words are comforting - neither do I judge you, go and sin no more! (John 8:2-11, ESV)

Christ knew the hearts of those surrounding the woman. He met them exactly where they were at in their own sinful state. There was no statement of judgment. he who is without sin, cast the first stone. The only person present that was without sin was Jesus. Stoning, at that time, was a form of condemnation and punishment based on judging one's behavior. The crowd realized they were not perfect in that present moment. The woman realized she was not under condemnation and judgment for what she was caught doing.

Today, many members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are being misled that they must perfect themselves and possess clean hands and a clean heart before God will even consider approaching them. Each member has to stand in counsel with someone to confess their sins in order to determine whether or not they are specifically "deemed worthy" to engage in some of the more esoteric rituals and forms of worship. One speck of sin in that person's life (where they are not following the direct commands) may bar them from participation. However, the scripture says that we are not perfect - only because of the sacrifice Christ made are we perfected in Him, because of His righteousness (Colossians 1:22, ESV) and we stand blameless and without reproach before a Sovereign and merciful God.

Even as Christians, we may stumble and may have at some point walked away from the faith - however, God is still merciful and just in that he does meet us where we are at - not where he desires us to be. No man has the right to say to another, "come, clean your garments and rinse the filth from off you before coming into the presence of God." For we all stand filthy, no matter how clean we may seem to believe. Only God can cleanse us from all unrighteousness and that by the power of Jesus Christ.

Earlier this month, I happened across an article at Crosswalk.com by Dena Johnson - How wrestling with God will change you forever. In her article/devotional, she recounts the story of Jacob and how Jacob wrestled with a person throughout the evening. His name was changed from Jacob to Israel and became the father of the Israelites. What she noted in this passage is the following:

For the last two years, I have been wrestling with God. I have wrestled night and day, asking for a fresh vision of who he is and what he wants for my life. I’ve had a particular situation that has caused me to lose many nights of sleep—nights spent wrestling with God in prayer. I’ve begged God to give me clarity because I know that God is the author of peace and not confusion. I’ve spent countless hours crying, seeking God’s face.

Prior to this, Dena recounts this simple reflection: "I’ve always been curious about this passage, about how Jacob—now known as Israel—wrestled with God. I simply couldn’t understand what it meant."

Dena further remarks on how she came across a simple passage of scripture that held a peculiar principle of truth:

And he set up an altar there and called it “God, the God of Israel” (Genesis 33:20)

Citing Genesis 28:13, 32:9 and 31:42, Dena makes the following observation:

You see, until Jacob had a divine wrestling match with God—until he had a very personal struggle with God—his faith was not cemented. It was not his own. Yes, he knew of his father’s faith. He had most definitely heard the stories of his grandfather’s faith. But, he was only living his faith vicariously through their faith; it had not been solidified in his life.

Her observation, personal experience of her own "wrestling with God" and how it increased her faith, and giving peace, Dena shares the simple principle of an eternal principle. Until we have our own encounter with the divine and wrestle with God in our own lives, we will not fully understand and comprehend the blessings our Heavenly Father has in store for us.

I reflect on this article and its simple message because of a recent LDS Fireside I attended for the Seattle-Shoreline Stake. A fireside about those of our families and friends who have doubts about the Gospel, doubts about God, doubts about Faith and in general - they are in a season of wrestling with God. How do we respond to those who are wrestling with their own doubts? Wrestling with their own personal questions and simple truths of the Gospel of Jesus Christ?

1 - Mindfulness and active listening

We have to be very mindful and truly be present in listening to what another person has to say. This means, we must look upon them and be in the present moment with them. Meeting them where they are at, not where we believe they ought to be. Many of us struggle with this act of kindness.

2 - We all have a story - the Lord wants to be included in that story

For those who are struggling with their own questions, doubts, testimony, faith or have particular concerns about doctrines of the Gospel have a story. Like Jacobs story of his wrestle with God, each person is writing their own story regarding how they are wrestling with God. The Lord was not reclusive, the Lord was wrestling with Jacob just as much as he is wrestling with each one of us as we consider our own doubts, questions, and crisis of faith. At the end of the day, being a person of faith is a great challenge. Yet, once we come to the morning upon which we are touched by God and realize who he truly is and are blessed by him, we then can own our faith and true testimony.

3 - Individuals with doubt and crisis of faith feel unsafe

One of the many problems in our society today, more specifically within the culture of Christianity, is that those who are wrestling with God do so in silence, alone, and without any collective knowledge. They may, perchance, offer up some hint of struggle to those very close. However, when it comes to outright discussing the exact nature of their struggle and crisis of faith, most fear judgment, condemnation, ridicule, and/or even being ostracized for not have a strong testimony or faith in God. This includes disappointments in finding those who truly may know and understand the heart of the individual who is struggle.

4 - Respect and validate where a person in crisis is

In a previous article that I had written, I opened up with this paragraph:

One of the most challenging aspects of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is having to constantly be aware of one’s on-going work toward perfection. Many times, as a Mormon, the constant teaching of, “you have to do this in order for this to happen,” came across the pulpit, at firesides and in Sunday School. The tragic loss of this message is that most people who have left the Church finally realize the real freedom in a relationship with Jesus Christ and not being obligated to prove one’s self-worth to God. The simple message of the Gospel, and of the sacrifice the Savior made, is diluted, confused and wrapped in a more humanistic effort to please God. The reality is that because God is sovereign, loving and merciful, he meets us where we are at in the present moment – not where he desires us to be in order to bless us, redeem us, or even forgive us when we falter. Unfortunately, the Mormon faith, it’s leaders and many members seemed to have lost sight of this important truth. (How God meets us where we are in the present moment)

This very thought was illuminated this evening at the fireside. People who are having a crisis of faith (whether they are Latter-day Saint Christians, Evangelical Christians, Roman Catholics or any other Christian faith), are not looking for judgment or condemnation. Instead, they are looking to be met exactly where they are at in that precise moment - without prejudice, judgment or unsolicited advice. Especially since the last thing individuals want is to feel unwelcome by those in their Christian faith community.

Instead, we ought to strive toward inclusion of those who are wrestling with God because of their doubts, fears and questions. Because people are emotional beings more than they are rational beings and through emotional experiences, make decisions based on how they feel. We may not know a person is struggle and wrestling with God, what we say and what we do determine whether or not a person feels unaccepted and unwanted.

5. Remember what you know about your own personal experiences

For those wrestling with God because of doubts and questions, always hold onto what you know and have already experienced while striving to live out the Gospel in your own lives. This may require having a heart-to-heart conversation with an individual or a group of individuals (Family, friends, like minded co-workers, even those who may not share in the same beliefs you and I share in). The more insight we are able to gain, the more we are able to bring to remembrance the many different blessings and spiritual experiences we have already received.

6. Need to turn our doubts and questions over to God

We always forget that God works according to his own timeline. For instance, after 400 years of Slavery, God had heard the many prayers of the Israelites and remembered his covenant he had made with Abraham. In our finite ways of thinking, we demand instant gratification, instant relief from whatever is our struggle, however we are wrestling with God. Here is where real faith is challenged and tested - not by our will, but by the Will, desire and purpose of God. A God who is sovereign, merciful and kind to those who seek after him.

What then is the recipe to get on the other side of our wrestling match with God? First, we ought to remember to always seek after truth in our own lives. Not only seek after it, live it out as authentic as possible. Remember that just as God validates our own sorrows, our own struggles and our own doubts and fears, we too must validate others who are going through their own season of wrestling with God. Secondly, we ought to be ready to be of service to those who are wanting to find their own personal revelation. Though, we are not able to give to them their own revelation about God or receive answers for them. We are, instead, able to encourage, empower and support their ongoing means to find their own blessing, testimony and faith in God. Much like Jacob had to wrestle with God and receive the blessing afterward, we too must do this alone - not without the support of others around us though.

The blessings that come when we find a solidarity faith in God, his truth and the reality of Jesus Christ? The ability to live out the Gospel in an authentic way as a testimony to others that are seeking their own answers.

We all will come to our own place where we face the Sovereign God and wrestle with him. Be encouraged that just as Jacob found his faith, we too are able to find our own faith in God. And live out that faith in a more authentic and genuine way.

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Discussion Questions for commentary:

1) Have you had a moment of crisis in your faith where you doubted God? What was your experience and how were you able to resolve your struggles and doubts?

2) If you have left the Faith (LDS or Evangelical Christianity) what were some of the doubts that kept you from engaging?

3) How do you identify with the video message and this article? What questions do you have in helping those around you who are currently wrestling or struggling in their own faith?

Nature and Power of Honesty

 When my daughter was younger, she'd love to watch Veggie Tales. I had a copy of one of her favorite VT videos. The title: Larry Boy and Fib from Outer space. 

The premise of the story line focused on dishonesty vs. honesty. Each time Jr. Asparagus told a lie, Fib grew larger and larger. At the end, Fib became quite big and caused trouble for Jr. Asparagus. It was only when Jr. Asparagus realized he needed to tell the truth. Each time he spoke the truth, Fib decreased in size. A simple message for children. Yet, a fundamental principle truth for people in recovery.

In Sobriety Demystified: Getting Clean and Sober with NLP and CBT, author Byron A. Lewis, M.A. writes:

...This clearly demonstrates a primary curative aspect of the Twelve steps program: the focus is not on the problem, but rather on the solution. ...intrinsic to this step is a primary principle of Twelve Step programs known as rigorous honesty.

What Lewis is referring to is the hardline truth: all individuals suffering from substance use disorder come to a place of admitting to the fullest extent the nature of their problems. In line with the First Step, Lewis remarks how it is the start of the process.

Power of Honesty and Admission of Powerlessness

A person becomes powerless because substance use becomes a pervasive, chronic, and progressive disease of brain reward and motivation. Lewis comments on how ongoing suffer's of substance use tend to foster a tendency toward ignoring consequences of compulsory behavior. Instead, the individual believes they are capable of handling problems associated with their continued use.

While they may trust in their own confidence of managing problems, despite continued use, there is repeated failure in moderating, limiting, or controlling their actual use. Instead, problems become exacerbate. Continued use despite negative consequences. 

As a moderately seasoned counselor, I provide the following information to my patients:

• Inability to manage when substances are consumed
• Inability to manage amount of substance use being consumed
• Inability to manage behaviors associated with being impaired/under the influence
• Inability to manage any withdrawal symptoms being experienced because of increased substance use

In Alcoholics Anonymous, one may even hear someone say, "I just can't stop at just one drink". That is because they are verbalizing the reality of their own inability to control how much, how often, and how they may behave once they take that initial drink.

It is this moment of clarity of being honest with self, a person may be able to start laying the foundation for a true recovery-based program.

Power of Honesty and an unmanageable life

Not only has an individual become powerless over their substance use, but their own lives have also become unmanageable. This recognition is a second layer of the foundation. Another rigorous honest approach is the acknowledgement of the pervasive impact it has had on the individual sufferer.

Noah Levine writes this:

For the addict in the midst of addiction, life is often a downward spiral that ends in incarceration, institutionalization, violence, loss, and death. Some may continue to function in seemingly normal ways - working, parenting, and participating in society - but an internal death occurs, a numbness arises, and they start to disconnect from themselves and from others. A wall of denial and suppression, too high and too thick to scale or break through, keeps others out and keeps the addicts in, trapped by [their] own defenses, prisoner to [their] own addiction (Refuge Recovery - Addiction Creates Suffering, pp 3-4).

Levine continues with these points on how suffering manifests in an individual:

1. Stress created by craving for more
2. Never having enough to feel satisfied
3. Stealing to support continued substance use
4. Lying to hide ongoing substance use
5. Ashamed and Guilty of one's behaviors
6. Feeling (belief) of unworthiness
7. Living in constant fear the consequences of one's actions
8. Intense emotions of anger and resentment
9. Hurting other people and self
10. Intense hatred toward self and others
11. Jealousy and envious of others
12. Feeling victimized and/or inferior toward others
13. Selfish due to being needy and greedy
14. Lack of confidence toward genuine sense of happiness and wellness
15. Anguish and misery of being enslaved by continues substance use

The nature of unnecessary suffering (as Levine remarks in his book) is a battle between our desire for happiness verses our need for survival. In active substance use, it is merely about survival from one moment to the next. A person's life is hyper focused on seeking out, obtaining, using, and recovering from the effects of alcohol and/or drugs.

Levine makes this statement on how one's recovery is fundamentally founded on the principle of honesty:

This is a process that cannot be skipped or half-assed. The foundation of our recovery is a complete admission and acceptance of the suffering that we have caused and experienced due to addiction.

Levine continues how this rigorous honesty needs to happen in order to do away with any shred of denial, minimization, justification, or rationalization. It is a principle truth that requires a radical honest approach toward healing. This radical honest approach encompasses two truths:

• Come a complete and total understanding of the reality of our own suffering and negative impact substance use has had on our lives.
• Accept the reality and truth that it is because of our continued substance use that is the causation for our own suffering.

Through our admission and acknowledgement, and by embracing the reality, that because of ongoing substance use, one has become powerless, and life had become unmanageable.

Power and nature of honesty leads toward freedom

Embracing the reality of our suffering. Admission to our sense of powerlessness and inability to manage life is the precursory means to establish an abstinent based recovery program. An individual begins to experience freedom by striving toward physical sobriety. Once physical sobriety is achieved, an individual begins the honest and rigorous work toward emotional sobriety.

Physical sobriety is the ability to establish and sustain a life without alcohol and/or drugs. It is the ability to manage and cope those symptoms of withdrawals. Maintaining daily empowerment to implement alternative ways to manage cravings that may lead back toward substance use. It is the ability to regain the power of volition of making daily decisions not to drink or use.

Emotional sobriety is more rigorous in bringing an individual face to face with their own inner turmoil. Learning how to manage intense emotions. Becoming empowered to move toward healthier relationships, financial stability, regain a peace of mind, finding meaning and purpose, rediscovery of core values and beliefs, and practicing a healthy lifestyle. It is a process of transformation and restoration of our true sense of identity.

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The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen?  If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.” 

~ Genesis 4:6-7, ESV ~ 

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Through emotional sobriety, a person regains the ability to manage their own emotions. This does not mean we fake it till we make it or force ourselves to think positively all the time. It means we are honest with ourselves when it comes to the nature of our own emotions: Positive or Negative. If we are not managing our emotions, our emotions are managing us, and we end up not doing well. We fall short because we return back to our old behaviors.

Summary of thought

Like Jr. Asparagus, a person suffering substance use creates a life that is dishonest. It becomes a rather large beast in our lives. The only way we are to bring ourselves back to a right way of living is by a radical and rigorous honest approach. The more we engage in being honest with self, the smaller and insignificant our own suffering becomes.

And, while it does not free us from the consequences of our substance use. It empowers us to face those consequences in order to regain mastery over our own lives.