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Key Passage: "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." – 1 Peter 5:7
Introduction: An Honest Look at Emotional Isolation
Have you ever felt like your emotions were locked away, buried so deeply that even you couldn’t access them? Maybe you were taught as a child that showing feelings was a sign of weakness or that it would lead to punishment. Perhaps you were told to “stop crying” or “just toughen up” whenever you expressed sadness or fear.
As Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoAs) and those who grew up in dysfunctional families, emotional isolation becomes a survival mechanism. We stuff our feelings, burying them under layers of shame, anger, or indifference. And for many of us, this emotional stuffing didn’t stop when we became adults. Instead, we carried it with us—into our relationships, our careers, and our spiritual lives.
But here’s the truth: God never designed us to live in emotional isolation. He created us in His image (Genesis 1:27), as beings with a full range of feelings, capable of experiencing joy, sorrow, anger, and love. When we deny our emotions, we deny part of who God made us to be.
The Root of Suppressed Emotions
The Big Red Book (BRB) of ACA puts it this way:
"As children, many of us were not allowed to show our feelings. So we stuffed them and pretended not to have them for fear of being ridiculed or punished."
As children of dysfunctional families, we often grew up in environments where our feelings were not safe. Maybe our parents were emotionally unavailable, preoccupied with addiction, or consumed by their own pain. Expressing anger, sadness, or fear might have resulted in ridicule (“Stop acting like a baby!”), neglect (“I don’t have time for this”), or even punishment.
Is it any wonder that we carried this coping mechanism into adulthood? When we’re taught to hide our emotions as children, we naturally repeat the pattern as adults. We stuff our feelings until they become unrecognizable, even to ourselves.
The Impact of Buried Feelings
Unprocessed emotions don’t disappear—they fester. The BRB describes how these hidden feelings act like triggers:
"These triggers can turn what should be a mild reaction into rage, not because of the situation, but because what is said or done awakens our stuffed feelings."
When we bury our feelings, we set ourselves up for emotional eruptions. A simple disagreement with a loved one can unleash years of suppressed anger. A minor disappointment at work can awaken buried feelings of rejection or inadequacy. We lash out, withdraw, or self-medicate—not because of the present moment but because of unresolved pain from the past.
The Apostle Paul described this struggle in Romans 7:15:
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."
When we carry buried emotions, our reactions often seem disproportionate, even irrational. We hurt those we love, sabotage our relationships, and perpetuate cycles of dysfunction—the very cycles we so desperately want to break.
But there is hope. God’s healing power can reach even the most hidden places in our hearts.
Bringing Our Feelings Into the Light
The process of healing begins when we bring our feelings into the light. Jesus said:
"The truth will set you free." (John 8:32)
In ACA, we learn to create safe spaces where we can recognize and express our feelings. For many of us, the first step is simply identifying what we feel—naming the anger, the sadness, the fear, or the shame that we’ve buried for so long.
This is not easy work. It requires courage to face feelings that we’ve spent a lifetime avoiding. But God promises to walk with us through this process:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you." (Isaiah 43:1-2)
When we trust God with our emotions, He meets us in our vulnerability. He holds us in our grief, comforts us in our fear, and restores our joy. David, a man after God’s own heart, modeled this beautifully in the Psalms. Time and again, David poured out his feelings before God—his anger, his sadness, his fear, and his joy.
"I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out before Him my complaint; before Him I tell my trouble." (Psalm 142:1-2)
If David—a warrior and a king—could express his feelings so honestly, so can we. God is not afraid of our emotions. He invites us to bring them to Him, trusting that He will meet us with compassion and healing.
The Power of Safe Community
ACA offers us a safe place to recognize and express our feelings. But this kind of healing community is not unique to recovery groups—it’s also God’s design for the Church.
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." (James 5:16)
Healing happens in community. When we share our struggles with trusted brothers and sisters in Christ, we experience the power of being seen, heard, and loved. The shame that once kept us silent begins to lose its grip. Our emotions, brought into the light, no longer hold power over us.
This is why it’s so important to seek out safe, Christ-centered relationships. Whether it’s a small group, a recovery meeting, or a close friend, God uses these connections to bring healing and freedom.
Reflective Questions
As you reflect on today’s message, consider these questions:
- Were you taught as a child that it was unsafe to express your feelings? How has this impacted you as an adult?
- What emotions have you been avoiding or suppressing? Are there specific triggers that awaken these feelings?
- Have you brought your feelings before God in prayer? How can you invite Him into this process?
- Who are the safe people in your life with whom you can share your emotions? How can you take a step toward vulnerability this week?
Take some time to journal your thoughts or share them with a trusted friend. If you feel led, I encourage you to comment below—your insights and experiences may encourage someone else on their journey.
Call to Action: Take a Step Toward Freedom
God desires freedom for you. He wants to release you from the weight of buried emotions and restore the joy, peace, and wholeness that come from walking in His light.
This week, I encourage you to take one small step toward recognizing and expressing your feelings:
- Pray: Spend time with God, honestly sharing your emotions with Him. Remember His invitation in 1 Peter 5:7: "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."
- Write: Start a feelings journal. Each day, write down what you’re feeling and what may have triggered it. Don’t judge yourself—just observe.
- Share: Talk with a trusted friend, counselor, or recovery group about what you’re experiencing. Vulnerability is where healing begins.
Closing Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank You for creating us with the ability to feel. Forgive us for the ways we have buried our emotions out of fear or shame. Lord, we invite You into the hidden places of our hearts. Bring Your light into the darkness. Help us to recognize and express our feelings in healthy, God-honoring ways. Surround us with safe people who can walk with us in this journey of healing. Thank You for Your promise to be with us always. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Join the Conversation
What resonated with you in today’s post? Have you experienced God’s healing as you learned to express your feelings? I’d love to hear from you—leave a comment below and share your thoughts. And if this message spoke to you, consider sharing it with someone who might need encouragement today.
Remember: You are not alone. God sees you; He loves you, and He is with you.
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