Holiness vs. Hardness: Has Your Prayer Become a Hard Spiritual Discipline?

 

Photo by Luis Alberto Sánchez Terrones on Unsplash

1. Introduction

Hello, friends. Today, we’re diving into a topic close to my heart and vital for anyone seeking a deeper walk with God—whether you’re in recovery, wrestling with doubt, or navigating a faith crisis. This is 'Sacred Sobriety: A Path for the Soul,' inspired by Oswald Chambers’ devotional 'Holiness vs. Hardness.' We’ll explore how prayer can either harden our hearts or lead us to holiness, and how interceding for others can transform our lives.

Imagine Sarah, a woman in her thirties, battling addiction. She’s been sobered for six months, but the cravings still hit hard. She prays daily, ‘God, take this away. Make me feel whole again.’ But when relief doesn’t come, she grows frustrated. ‘Why isn’t God listening?’ she wonders. Her prayers, once hopeful, turn bitter. She stops talking to her sponsor and skips support group meetings. Her heart hardens—not just toward God, but toward everyone. Then one day, a friend asks her to pray for someone else in the group struggling worse than she is. Reluctantly, Sarah tries it. She prays for her friend’s strength, peace, and healing. Something shifts. For the first time in months, she feels connected, less alone. That moment marks the beginning of a new path—one where prayer isn’t just about her, but about others too.

Sarah’s story shows us a truth Chambers highlights: prayer can either draw us closer to God’s holiness or push us into hardness. The difference lies in how we pray. As Paul writes in 1 Timothy 2:1, ‘I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people.’ Today, we’ll unpack what that means and how it can lead us to sacred sobriety—a life fully surrendered to God.

2. Sentimental Prayer vs. Intercessory Prayer

Let’s start with sentimental prayer. It’s the kind we often fall into naturally—prayers driven by our emotions, focused on our own needs. ‘Lord, ease my pain. Fix my situation.’ These aren’t wrong; God wants us to bring Him our burdens. But when prayer stays there, it can become self-centered, a plea for comfort rather than communion with God. Intercessory prayer, though, is different. It’s lifting up others—praying for their needs, their struggles, their souls. It’s stepping outside us to stand in the gap, aligning our hearts with God’s love for the world.

Why does this matter? Sentimental prayer can leave us stuck. In recovery, if I’m only praying for my cravings to stop and they don’t, I might think God’s failed me. Doubt creeps in. But intercessory prayer shifts the focus. It builds empathy, reminding us we’re not alone in our struggles. Spiritually, it mirrors God’s heart—He’s always working for the good of all His children, not just me. It’s a step toward holiness, softening us where hardness wants to take root.

Jesus showed us this in John 17. Hours before the cross, He prayed—not just for Himself, but for His disciples and every believer to come, including us. ‘Father, protect them, unify them, sanctify them.’ Paul echoes this in Ephesians 6:18, urging us to ‘pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests… for all the Lord’s people.’ This isn’t optional—it’s the pattern of a crucified life.

Some of us think prayer should fix everything instantly, like a vending machine. When it doesn’t, we give up. But prayer isn’t about bending God’s will to ours; it’s about aligning ours with His. Intercession teaches us that, pulling us out of isolation into His bigger story.

3. Hardness Toward God and Others

What does hardness look like? It’s cynicism: ‘God doesn’t care.’ It’s bitterness: ‘Why is this happening to me?’ It’s isolation: pulling away from friends, church, or recovery groups. For someone in recovery, it might mean skipping meetings or refusing to forgive someone who hurt them. Doubt can make it worse—‘If God’s real, why am I still struggling?’ This hardness builds walls around our hearts, blocking God’s grace and others’ support.

In recovery, isolation is a red flag—it’s often the first step toward relapse. Spiritually, hardness cuts us off from growth. Hebrews 10:24-25 warns us not to give up meeting together but to ‘spur one another on toward love and good deeds.’ When we stop praying or connecting, we lose that lifeline. Hardness doesn’t just hurt us—it dims our light for others."

Paul calls this a battle in Ephesians 6. Doubt, temptation, despair—these are attacks we face. Intercessory prayer is our weapon. When we pray for others, we fight back against the enemy’s lies, reclaiming ground for God’s kingdom—and our own hearts.

4. Practical Steps for Intercessory Prayer

So how do we do this? Start small. Keep a prayer journal—write down one person to pray for each day. Set a reminder on your phone to pause and intercede. Join a prayer group, even online, to share requests. Apps like Echo or books like The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children can guide you. The key is intention—make it part of your routine, like a sacred rhythm in your sobriety.

Consider John, a man I heard about in recovery. He was angry, disconnected, sure prayer was pointless. A counselor challenged him to pray for others in his program. He started with one guy detoxing nearby: ‘God, give him strength.’ Then his counselor: ‘Help her keep going.’ Over weeks, John’s anger faded. He felt purpose. His faith flickered back to life. History’s full of examples too—think of George Müller, who prayed tirelessly for orphans and saw miracles. Intercession works."

Don’t worry if it feels awkward at first. You don’t need fancy words—just a willing heart. Results may not come overnight, but they will come. Your prayers matter—to God, to others, to your own soul. Start today. Pick one person and pray for them. Watch what God does.

5. Reflective Questions

Let’s pause to reflect. First: ‘Have your prayers ever felt self-focused? How did that affect your faith or relationships?’ Think about it. Second: ‘Who needs your intercession right now? Maybe a friend, a family member, someone you’ve struggled to forgive—what’s one step you can take to pray for them?’ Finally: ‘Can you recall a time someone’s prayers lifted you up? How did that change you?’ Take a moment now—jot down your thoughts or just sit with them.

I’d love to hear your answers—share them in the comments below. Let’s build a community of prayer together. Your story might encourage someone else.

6. Call to Action

If this message resonates, consider supporting this channel. Your donations help us create more content like this, reaching people who feel lost in recovery or faith. Patreon members get exclusive perks—early access, bonus teachings, even live Q&As. Every bit helps us share hope with those who need it most.

One supporter wrote, ‘Your videos got me through the darkest nights of my sobriety. I started praying for my sister instead of just myself, and it changed everything.’ That’s why we do this—because sacred sobriety is possible, and you are part of it.

Friends, intercessory prayer is your path to a softer heart and a holier life. As Paul said in 1 Timothy 2:1, ‘Pray for all people.’ Start today—lift someone up, and let God lift you. Thanks for joining me. Keep seeking Him.