Key Scripture - Romans 5:20: But where sin increased, grace increased all the more.
Introduction
Welcome to today's devotional for Sacred Sobriety; A Path for the Soul as we are continuing the devotional series Keystones of Faith: Courage and Wisdom for Christians in Recovery. Today, I want to focus on a central truth that is not merely a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:20-23). It is also a weapon and part of our spiritual armor of God (Ephesians 6:13-18), it is also a gift of the Spirit (1 Corinthians 12:8-10).
Many times, I have felt like my past mistakes were too big for God to forgive. Maybe this has been your own thought, or it might be something you are struggling with at this moment. These intrusive thoughts say that "I've fallen too far", or "I need to earn my way back to God's love." If this resonates with you, know that you are not alone. For those of us walking our own path of recovery - whether it is focusing on thriving in emotional sobriety because of toxic and co-dependent relationships God is freeing us from or addiction and all the shame and guilt that have deep wounds - these feelings of inadequacies weigh heavy upon us. Today, I want to explore with you a spiritual paradox that shatters those lies. It comes from Romans 5:20 where the Apostle Paul shares how grace increases all the more where sin has had its significant increase in our own lives.
This is not a mere verse of comfort; it's a radical promise that no matter how deep our struggles are - God's grace, love, and mercy is deeper still. And that is what I want to share with you today. Reflecting on grace's transformative power, engage in practical recovery exercises, and maybe share our own testimonies and stories of hope. So, grab your scriptures, a journal or notebook - or download the study guide here from Google Docs for today's episode. Let us open our hearts and minds to the things the Spirit wants to speak to us today.
Devotional - Day 18: Accepting God's Grace
Reflection
In the depths of our sin and struggle, where shame and guilt threaten to overwhelm us, there lies a divine paradox: Grace abounds all the more. The Apostle Paul declares with unflinching clarity, "But where sin increased, grace increased all the more" (Romans 5:20). This is no mere sentiment; it is the living power of God breaking into our brokenness. Grace does not simply mask our failures - it transforms us, reaching into the darkest corners of our addiction and despair to bring healing and restoration. Have you considered that God's grace is not a reward for the worthy, but a gift for the weary?
In our human frailty, we often find ourselves resisting the very thing that saves us - God's sovereign Grace. This resistance stems from a deep-seated sense of unworthiness, a belief that our sins, failures, or past mistakes makes us ineligible for divine love. Perhaps we feel that we must clean ourselves up first or prove over worth through effort. Yet, the Apostle reminds us that God's grace is a counterpoint: where sin increases, grace increases all the more. This is not a free pass for us to continue in sin - it is a profound assurance that no matter how deep our struggles run, God's grace is deeper still.
Yet, how often do we stand aloof from this grace? Determining for ourselves too unworthy to receive it? We cling to our own guilt as if it were a badge of honor, resisting the very love that seeks to set us free. However, the gospel proclaims a higher and greater truth; grace meets us precisely where we are most undone. "For by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9). This grace is not contingent upon our striving; it is the foundation of our own personal recovery and spiritual journey. An unshakable ground on which we stand firm.
Consider the Lord's words to Paul: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9). Herein lies the challenge for each of us - Faith is to accept God's sovereign grace as sufficient and enough for us for today. Even when we feel underserving and unworthy. In our recovery and spiritual growth, we are not called to earn God's favor - we are called to surrender ourselves unto Him and lean into it. This surrender deepens the healing begun in earlier days of our recovery (or in early stage of recovery if you are beginning your path). God's grace turns our wounds into wellsprings of testimony. Grace is not passive; it is the active presence of God through the Holy Spirit. Lifting us from the mire and setting our feet upon the rock of Christ.
The measure of our faith is no longer about how perfect we are able to become. No, the measure of our faith is on our willingness to receive what God freely gives. To accept His grace is to relinquish the pride that says, "I must do more", and the despair that whispers, "I am too far gone." It is to stand before the cross, broken yet beloved, and allow His love to rewrite our own story.
"He has saved us and called us to a holy life - not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace" (2 Timothy 1:9). This is the courage of our recovery: to believe that grace abounds even in our deepest struggles.
Recovery Focus
Today, undertake a sacred task as a challenge: Write a letter to yourself and let it be penned from God's perspective. This may require some meditation on your part. Maybe even engaging in some time of prayer, fasting, and prayer. Sit with the spirit in solitude. Reflect on scripture. And when impressed and led by the Holy Spirit - allow His voice of grace and love flow out onto the page. Begin with honesty - name your struggles, your feelings of unworthiness, your fears of relapse or failure. Then, take a moment to breath - to pause - and allow God to respond through His spirit. Hear him affirm you as His child, forgiven and cherished, not because of your own merit; because of His mercy. This is no mere exercise; it is a spiritual act of opening your heart and mind to the reality of His grace, a step toward healing through the power of His unchanging love for you.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, I confess that I often have resisted your grace because of my personal feelings of inadequacies and unworthiness of your mercy and love. Thank you for showing me that your grace abounds all the more in my heart and mind and that it is greater than my own weaknesses and human frailty, more powerful than my shame and guilt that I have carried all these years. Thank you for helping me to fully accept and embrace your grace for just today. Let it wash over me, healing my wounds and setting me free. Continue to allow your spirit to teach me to live in the light of your love, not as one who stands condemned - as one who is forgiven and redeemed. In Jesus Christ, amen.
Saving Grace Abounds
Take a moment and allow Romans 5:20 to sink in. The Apostle wrote these words to the Romans, addressing tension between sin and God's redemptive plan. He's saying that no matter how much sin abounds - whether it's in the chaos of addiction, the sting of relapse, or the guilt we carry - God's grace abounds all the more. This is not an excuse for us to continue in sin. As the Apostle writes frequently in the Epistle to the Romans, God forbid. What this presents is a lifeline of hope that God's grace, mercy, and love is boundless in our hearts and minds.
To enrich this truth, let's examine a few more scriptures. Ephesians 2:8-10 reveals to us that true saving grace is not something that we are able to achieve through our own efforts and desires. It is a gift from God. Not that we have earned it or even deserved it. One of the reasons I have come to understand this is, so we are brought to a place of humility. For, if we were able to boast in our own efforts and works that obtained God's divine grace and mercy - we stand in an attitude of pride and boasting of our own efforts and not of God's will and desire for us.
Paul further clarifies that we this gift of Grace from God is one that is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Because we are humble, we are in a place of despair, brokenness, raw, and emotionally and spiritually depleted - God's grace is manifested powerfully in its perfection through us. This grace is at work - not because of our own effort and strength, and only in our vulnerability - especially for those of us in recovery and living a thriving sober lifestyle.
Counseling his disciple, Timothy, Paul also writes that God has not only provide salvation for each of us - but he has also called us to a Holy Life (2 Timothy 1:9). Again, not of anything we were able to do of our own accord - something He does for his purpose in giving us the gift of Grace. God's sovereign grace flows from His heart - not because of our performance.
These verses weave a beautiful theme of God's divine sovereign Grace that is the foundation of His love and mercy. Unmerited, undeserving on our part, and yet powerfully and freely given to lift us up out our own mire. Foundation of a healthy recovery journey, healing, and spiritual growth.
Reflection on Accepting God's Grace
Let's examine the question: What does it mean to accept God's grace?
We are called to wrestle with this - not as a surface-level comfort. Instead, we are to wrestle with this as a profound challenge for us to exercise faith.
Again, God's divine grace is a paradox. It meets us in our brokenness, not our perfection. Where sin increases - where addiction grips us, where shame whispers lie - grace increases all the more. Yet, how often do we push it away? We might cling to guilt and shame, thinking it's noble to punish ourselves, or we strive to clean up our lives before approaching God. Grace does not wait for us to be worthy; it's a gift for the weary, the undone, the struggling.
And for many of us in recovery, this is both a comfort and a spiritual battle. Comfort because it promises that no failure is final 0 God's grace is there at our lowest point. However, it is a spiritual battle of the heart and mind because accepting it means we are to put to death pride, self-reliance, and the idea that we have the power and capacity to earn our healing and forgiveness in order to be restored to a place of peace.
Faith is the very measure of our willingness and not of our perfection to receive what God freely gives unto each of us.
O how oft do I read and hear people complain that they will never make it, that they will never stop using or drinking. That they speak defeat into their hearts and mind and wallow in their despair and pity. No matter how hard they attempt to stop using and drinking - they consistently fail and relegate their failure to defeat. And continue to convince themselves they are undeserving, unable to get over it, and sometimes cry for help as they are drowning in their own swamp of despair. All because they are not willing to give themselves permission to give over and surrender unto Christ and come unto Him to find rest and to find peace and to be strengthened and healed through the Atonement.
Perhaps you are like many who has spent years trapped in addiction, trauma from childhood, and continue to relapse or find yourself in toxic relationships that are co-dependent. Believing you are beyond hope and redemption. However, many will tell you - when in this space of complete defeat and brokenness, they testify of that moment of sweet surrender to God and His care. Not surrendering to their despair, but to Grace. Listen to their stories and how they relate that their problems did not vanish. Instead, they felt God within them. Some go so far and relate how they felt being enveloped in arms and being hugged, or a blanket of a flood of comfort and peace filling them to the point of warmth and compassion engulfing them.
This is God's grace - not a free pass - where it is a powerful moment of transformation from despair to comfort and peace. And it is how it rewrites our own personal story.
So, here is a question I'd like for each of you to ponder at this time:
What is holding you back from accepting God's grace? Is it shame? Is it guilt? Is it pride? Or the idea that you are simply too far gone and beyond hope of salvation and redemption?
Pause for a moment and write down your thoughts - record any impressions the spirit gives you and then bring them before God. Because here is the beauty of Grace: We can't stop sinning on our own will power and authority - the only way we are empowered to stop sinning is through the power and authority of the Holy Spirit that works through you.
Grace is the gateway to that power - what is holding you back from stepping through and embracing it today?
Recovery Focus: Letter Exercise
James 1:22 inspires us to not only be "Hearers of the word but doers of the word". And this is an opportunity for each of us to put this into practice. This is not about hearing a good message, comprehend and understand it, take notes, and then walk away. It is doing something with it once we hear the word of God being taught.
Here is the practical application for today. Take a moment to consider writing a letter to yourself from God's perspective. This may take some time and may require some time of solitude and meditative and thoughtful prayer. Maybe you are not ready for this, and it is okay. If you are not ready - consider taking some time throughout the week to do this exercise.
And this is not merely an exercise - it's a spiritual act to confront the lies of unworthiness, shame, guilt, and other intrusive negative self-talk that may permeate in your mind. It is a call to action to quiet and be still to know that I am God (Psalm 46:10).
Here are some recommendations to make the most of this exercise:
- Prepare Your Heart: Find a quiet spot and take a few deep breaths to quiet the chatter in your own mind. Simply pray and invite the Holy Spirit into this space: "God, through your spirit guide my words and thoughts so that I may hear the voice of the spirit"
- Be Honest: Write down the reasons you may not feel unworthy, reasons you feel ashamed, feelings of guilt associated with past mistakes and transgressions. This is sort of an inventory you are making. And it is best to be as specific as possible.
- Listen for the Still Small Voice: Now, it is the time to quiet the mind and reflect on Psalm 46:10. Do not rush, sing a favorite hymn or Christian song, reflect on a scripture, all to push out any intrusive negative chatter and lies that may creep in. Here is what it may look like: if you wrote down "I've failed too many times and continue to relapse." You might hear the Spirit reminding you that "His grace is new every day. You are mine" and it may come as way of a scripture to help remind you of this.
- Complete the Letter: Address each struggle with God's truth and scripture. Allow time to do this (again - Do not rush this time with God).
- Receive it: now that you have written this out - do not read it right away. One of the things writers are tasked to do is when they have completed a manuscript - let it rest for a period of time. Do not read it right away. And good reason. A writer's tendency is to focus on editing, correcting, and then engage in self-criticism. Allowing time for the letter to breath, you are able to come back to it at a later time and then read it and reflect on what it says. Read it aloud, if possible. Or share it with someone - perchance a sponsor or accountability partner or group. Share with your pastor or someone who is discipling you.
I want to share with you an example that I did years ago when I experienced homelessness and was without employment, left stranded in Seattle, and only having a backpack with a couple days' worth of clothes, three cartons of cigarettes, and a pair of work boots. I had a little over $50.00 to my name. And this was not by my choice as my father, who was alive at the time, was at Harborview Medical Center for almost two months.
After walking and forcing myself to stay away for over a week - I was able to connect with a transitional housing program and began slowly working on getting myself back to a place of stability. This was before I had made a return back to Church and fellowship. After resting for about two weeks, I wrote out the following:
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My Question - My Being
Back in 2004, my father was released from Harborview Medical Center in Seattle, Washington. A few months prior to this, he was involved in a serious auto accident outside of Yelm, Washington. He had broken the steering wheel of his small 1980's something pickup truck with his chest. Drove the steering column through the floorboard of the pickup. He had spent two months in a drug induced coma for his lungs to heal. I spent those two months living at the hospital. Upon his release, my family had made the decision to leave me in Seattle. It was January 2004 and was the most isolating and depressive experience in my life.
No place to lay my head. I worked and walked the streets of Downtown. Mainly stayed awake for about 7-days. I was finally able to move into the Aloha Inn Transitional housing program. There, I wrote this personal essay as a way to come to terms with what I have dealt with. Not just during that time in my life. A reflection of what I've felt and gone through most of my life.
I kept it close to read as a reminder. Over the years it had become lost (among other things). It was not until yesterday when I was going through a couple of boxes that I found this essay and spent time meditating upon it and reading those words I wrote over 16 years ago.
A Personal essay of my bout with depression in 2004
Nothing!
Nothing, I silently replied. Then a thought. One simple thought that breached the empty field of my mind. Recalling an immortal phrase coined by one of history's most renowned play writer:
To be or not to be; that is the question. This is what Shakespeare wrote.
My question - what is the answer?
Like the morning fog being burned off from the surface of a lake, the sun rises in magnificent splendor. The phrase fades with only emptiness in my mind. Nothing! I just want to scream, wandering in the dark alleys and shadows of my thoughts. They seemed to reach forth with cold bony fingers. Tugging to pull me into the suffocating darkness.
Nothing.
Nothing! I shout in echoing silence of my own thoughts.
No answer came. My voice reverberating off decaying walls of cinder blocks and mortar. Or, maybe it had come and I was preoccupied with the emptiness that leaves me numb. The only thing left is a barren wasteland - much like the desert. Scorching heat beating against sandy dunes. Reminds me of waves on a motionless sea. Some dunes rising high, rolling into valleys with no substance of life. A mysterious beauty all its own. Winds blowing relentlessly, shifting sand back and forth. Reshaping dunes and valleys of the desert. Maybe they are not motionless waves after all. Maybe, there is some purpose to a desert.
Again, the phrase appears in my mind, lingering like an unwanted specter. To be or not to be; that is the question. My soul groans and cries out - What is the answer? Only silence. The barren desert appears again. The warmth from the day lingers in the twilight hours. Long after the sun descended over the horizon. Only the moon glows against the velvet canopy of sky. Stars blinking in chorus for some cosmic audience. The desert wind becomes a cold talon. The desert's friend is loneliness.
Loneliness and nothing.
To be or not to be lonely; that is the question. Could this be the answer?
To be nothing or not to be nothing; that is the question. Could this be the answer?
I am something. I am not lonely. Not like the desert. The desert has no friends. Those who traverse it do so with caution, speed and are well prepared. To be lost in the desert is utter destruction. It's beauty drawing you in if you are not careful. I am something. Or am I?
There is still no answer. Only silence. Cold heartless silence chills me. A fatiguing recollection dances in my mind. A field of barren hostility. You were something! It chanted. You were not lonely. I push the thought back into the shadows of a decaying city that I seemed to wander through.
Another vision comes to view.
To be somebody, or not to be somebody; that is the question. I pause, dwelling on the perplexity it proposes. I am somebody. The phrase rises up from the depths of my depression. My heart and soul crying in unison from their prison. The bondage they wrestle against to be free. I am somebody! I cry out. The statement bouncing off the stillness of my mind. Silence laughed at me.
Are you? Silence comes with a different question. Shakespeare hovers over his grave. Are you somebody? The question presses against me. Suffocating me. Shakespeare holds a dark cloak against me.
Yes! I am somebody. I yelled, yet my voice muffled against the thick fabric.
Who? A different question. Shakespeare is silent. Asking me as the heavy cloak peels away from me. Chains bound me. The metal is cold as it constricts like a boa.
Who? I repeated the question.
Who are you? A momentary pause. If you are somebody, then who are you? Another question. It felt like a sword put to flames and then searing as it sliced through my flesh. Burning with a nauseating stench. Silence encroaches again. Cold brooding silence as the wound becomes a scar. A reminder.
To be or not to be; that is the question. Shakespeare's ghost appears again. Chains no longer hold me captive. Cloak is no longer in his hands. He is dark with a red rose in one hand and a white rose in another. One for purity and the other for love.
What is the answer? I asked. A circular argument of reason. Once again the desert floods the landscape of my mind. The stifling heat burning against my flesh; thirst parching my throat.
No answer came.
Nothing.
Nothing! I repeated. No one was there. A heavy sigh escaped my trembling lips.
No one? But, you re someone. Were you not? The question settled upon me like a brooding cloud hanging over the land. Dark and full of anger. There was no answer that would come to my lips.
I am no one. I am nothing! I sighed heavily with resolve. The interrogation flogging me with leather tentacles. Striking and ripping my flesh. My body numbed and craving death.
I am nothing. I am no one! I yelled in pain. Shakespeare and the desert are vanquished from my thoughts.
Alone somewhere and yet nowhere at the same time. It was here that I felt the rain. A soft drizzle at first. My eyes open to a misty grey day. The drizzle giving way to a steady downpour.
You are someone. The unrepentant thought crossed my mind. The words roaring like thunder. Storms. The grey sky brightened in a series of electrified white over the city. Thunder roaring with each flash. A storm was brewing. Are there storms in the desert? I asked. There was no answer to my question.
The desert gave way to the sea. Rolling and motionless dunes of sand became liquid rising and falling in waves. The sea was breathing with white caps of fury. Each wave rising in anger and slapping against the ship. The crew long abandoned her. Tall white sails bulged against the gusts of wind.
Nothing.
The ship rose and crashed as the sea breached the railings and water rushing across the wooden deck. The vessel groaned and creaked with mournful cries. No one is manning the helm of the ship! I weakly protested. Lightening licked across the sky like an angry god. The iridescent flash contrasted against the velvet blackness. Illuminating brooding clouds that reached down and kissed the rising sea with deadly and poisonous contempt. Thunder roared its blood curdling battle cry.
You're somebody - to be or not to be; that's your question!
Shakespeare's ghost stands at the bow of the ship.
I'm nothing! I'm no one! I cried out. Thunder clapped with anger. I'm now cowering in the corner of the ship. Like a scolded and abused child. Do you see me? Wide-eyed, scarred and naked? My knees pulled tightly too my chest. Arms hugging them.
Nothing. Loneliness gives way to fear and dread. Death's breath upon the nape of my neck. Whispering deadly and eternal dark secrets in my ear.
Storms. Remember the storms. The voice was no longer ominous. A soft breeze in the bowels of my heart. I remember. What about the storms? The question unfolded in my thoughts.
Storms. Remember the storms?
The question was persistent. My response silenced.
The ship and the dark sea disappearing, vanishing from my vision. Storms, came a soft whisper. Again, the sky flashed and roared angrily. Yet, the sea subsiding and calming. Rain started falling from the pregnant clouds.
No longer was I on the ship or the sea. I found myself standing in a spacious field. The meadow stretched before me with green vegetation. Centered in the field was an ancient oak tree. It stood against the storm. Majestic and barren. I hear it growl in a low grumbling tone. It beckoned me closer.
My child, please come. I hear it calling.
To be or not to be...Shakespeare again. His spirit stood under the canopy of the oak tree. her branches swayed with the strong wind. Leaves fluttered like a million butterflies in whispered choral music. I found myself beneath the branches. The wind grew stronger, the rain fell heavier. Yet, I found peace and comfort. Dry and protected. I reached out in trepidation, wanting to touch the oak tree. The trunk aged and ancient. Scarred; thicker than I had seen any tree. Lightening reached down from the angry clouds like a whip, striking the majestic oak tree. The wood crackled and exploded. Echoing in the storm. Fire sparked and engulfed the tree. The rain kissed away the flames. Thunder shouting in anger and displeasure. Yet, I felt safe under the boughs of the oak tree.
Storms. The thought flashed in my mind. I remember. Storms make trees seek deeper roots I shouted out in joy.
To be or not to be; that is the question. Shakespeare's spirit stood in front of me smiling.
To be or not to be; that is my question. I thoughtfully smiled back at Shakespeare. His spirit vanishing. So also the lonely oak tree. The field no longer captivated my thoughts. Even the barren desert no longer plagued me.
I found myself back on the ship. Her sails were tattered and torn. There were no more threatening waves. No more storms. There was a calm wind softly kissing against the sails.
Nothing.
Nothing. I muttered contently. Waves rose and fell like a woman's bosom when she breathed. A summer breeze carried sweet-tangy salt on her wings. Azure sky ostracized the dark evening. I was at the helm of the ship. Up there, on the horizon, do you see it? Shakespeare standing and smiling.
Answer the question. I thought. To be or not to be; that is my question I paused, allowing the statement to warm my soul before answering. I am the captain of my own destiny - that's who I am, I am somebody. The answer became my beacon of light as I saw the lighthouse. Up on the coastal lands. The harbor beckoning me to return safely. I am finding my way safely home.
Again, this was written before I returned back to faith and rededicated my life to Christ and was the beginning journey of my own recovery and growth. I often turn to this piece of writing often when I am feeling really low and see how God was even with me in those dark times of my life where I literally had to make it through one day at a time and one moment at a time.
Closing Thoughts
If you are struggling in your own recovery, struggling with your faith where you are questioning if God is there, or if he loves you - know that God's grace, love, mercy, and peace is there for you to receive it. No matter how much you believe you are a failure - God sees you differently. And it is something that does not happen overnight. However, it will happen the moment we give our hearts, minds, and life over to the will and care of our Heavenly Father and embrace the redemptive power of His grace through the atonement that Christ provided for each one of us. He gives us the strength, and His grace is sufficient for us in that moment and for that day.
And the greater promise is this - Christ taught that all we are required to do is to seek After the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added (Matthew 7:25-34). We are not to worry and to cast all our cares unto Him (1 Peter 5:7).
As we wrap this up, remember that grace is not a onetime gift - it is a daily gift we are to receive. This week, reflect on what this means for you, lean into it. Thank God for His grace each morning and seek opportunities to extend grace toward others through forgiveness. It is a living reality that transforms our recovery and life as we live crucified unto Christ each day (Galatians 2:20).
Prayer and Meditation
Heavenly Father, I come before you, needing your grace today. I confess that I've sometimes resisted your grace where I feel unworthy or continue to hold onto the idea that I somehow need to earn it. Today, I surrender unto you my life and will over to your care. Thank you for the word that reveals how Your grace abounds where sin increases. Thank you for showing me that your grace is sufficient, shining in my moments of weakness. I embrace it - not as an excuse, as the foundation for continuing to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. Let those who are listening to hear your voice, feel your love and peace, and experience healing where their shame is replaced with truth. I lift everyone up as we all come to know your grace, in Jesus' name - Amen.
