Sacred Sobriety: A Path for the Soul: Crucified with Christ

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Welcome fellow travelers to Sacred Sobriety: A Path for the Soul. A sacred place where each of us are pressing forward with steadfast faith through Jesus Christ, living a mindful crucified life through Him as he lives through us with the power and authority of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 2:20). I am your host - Timothy Berman - and today, I want to have a discussion with you regarding how friendships honor God. This is part of the ongoing series Crucified with Christ: Daily Reflections for Christians in Recovery. And the heart of this is to confront and overcome any shame, guilt, or releasing unforgiveness that we have carried throughout our lives. And either we surround ourselves with people that either make or break our personal journey of recovery, spiritual growth, and relationship with Christ.

Key Insight: The company we keep either lifts us toward God's purpose and will or drags us into temptation. We are called to choose wisely.

Clay in the potter's hands is molded carefully and thoughtfully. This is true with our friendships that shape the very contours of our soul. We are molded by those we hold close, for better or for worse. For those of us in recovery, striving to maintain abstinence, battling alienation, shame, guilt, or the festering wounds of unforgiveness, the choice of companions is no trifling matter. Some friendships draw us nearer to God, urging us toward His righteousness. Others, like a subtle undertow, pull us into temptation, dishonoring the One who calls us His own.

2 Thessalonians is our anchor verse for today's devotional and meditation. A reminder for us how God desires to make us worthy of His calling, that His name may be glorified in us. Yet, how can this be if we cling to relationships that lead us astray? To honor God, we ought to consider the influence of people we surround ourselves with. We ought to desire to choose those friends who reflect the light of Christ, nurturing bonds that strengthen our faith and resolve.

Key Verse: "To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ." ~ 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12, ESV

Reflection

Have you considered the company you keep? Do your friends spur you toward godliness, or do they entice you to compromise? The Apostle Paul warns in 1 Corinthians 15:33, "Do not be deceived: 'Bad company ruins good morals.'" For those of us in recovery, this truth cuts deep - a gut punch. Often times when I have sat in counsel and ministered to many people over the years, one of the more difficult aspects of their recovery is the need to cling to long term friendships and relationships. A fear of not only rejection if they pursuit an authentic recovery where they move into a thriving and sober life. Not only fear of what others may think or say if they come to faith in Christ. A fear of feeling abandoned, rejected, and alone. After all, I as like that. I struggled to let go of toxic relationships - whether romantic or friendship - because I did not want to feel alienated, alone, and isolated with no one around.

Toxic friendships, where values clash and temptations abound, may unravel the fragile threads of progress. Unequally yoked relationships, as described in 2 Corinthians 6:14, create discord, for "what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness?" Consider the subtle influence of your companions. Do they encourage you to honor God, or do they draw you back to the shadows of old habits? Are they strengthening you in faith and love - holding you accountable, correcting, guiding, and speaking life into you; or are they enabling you, encouraging you and strengthening you in maintaining the status present status quo?

God's call is quite clear throughout scripture: Surround yourself with those who uplift your soul, for in their presence, you find strength to walk the covenantal path.

The heart in recovery often bears the weight of shame and guilt, remnants of past failures. Yet, Psalm 34:5 declares this truth, "Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed." Godly friends reflect this radiance, reminding us of God's grace and forgiveness. They hold us accountable, not with judgment, instead, with love, pointing us to the cross where shame is crucified.

Consider the heaviness and suffocating chain of bitterness that lingers from unforgiveness. Hebrews 12:15 cautions us, "See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no 'root of bitterness' springs up and causes trouble." Friends who honor God help us uproot this bitterness, overcome our resentment, and walk in forgiveness - softening our hearts because Christ forgave us (Colossians 3:13).

The struggle to let go of toxic friendships is quite real, especially when isolation feels like the only alternative. And for me, it had to come to a place and realize that those who were around me had significant influence over my life and I was too weak minded to find the courage and willingness to break free from such relationships. Not until I started surrounding myself with people of faith, people who held me accountable, and people who had vested interest in strengthening me. And the reality of truth is that if we are to seek out friendships that Honor God - we are to remove ourselves and stay away from people who lead us toward bad habits and false beliefs as well as staying away from places where we have done bad things and lived in unhealthy ways.

Yet, God does not want us to walk alone. Proverbs 18:24 assures us that, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Seek those who embody this steadfast love, who walk with you in your faith, not leading you into temptation, but lifting you and strengthening you toward God's purpose. The path of recovery is difficult and through godly friendships we find the courage, wisdom, and insights, needed to guide us to a place of refuge. Speaking light, truth, and love over us and bringing us to a place of experiencing God's love and tender mercies. Genuine friendships that honor God soothe cankerous wounds of alienation and isolation where community shines with Christ's glory.

Recovery Focus

For those of us in recovery, friendships are not merely social - they are spiritual ties and anchors. The battle against addiction, shame, and resentment requires companions who reflect God's truth. Choose friends who pray with you, who remind you of God's promises, and speak scripture to your heart, mind, and soul - passages like Romans 8:1 that reveals the reality of God's love where "there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." These friends hold us accountable, not to shame or lay a guilt trip, to stand with you in holy and sacred places in order for you to stand firm in faith. Letting go of toxic relationships is painful, yet necessary. Proverbs 13:20 states: "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm." In recovery, wisdom is found in those who point you to Christ, not to the old ways of destruction.

Isolation is a cunning foe, whispering that you are unworthy of love or connection. Yet, God created us for community. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us, "Two are better than one ... For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow." Seek out fellow believers who understand your journey, who are able to share your burdens and celebrate your victories. These friendships, grounded in faith, help you resist temptation and release the chains of guilt. They encourage forgiveness, not just of others, forgiveness toward self where it echoes Ephesians 4:32: "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

The challenge of letting go of unhealthy friendships often lies in fear - fear of loneliness, rejection, or losing identity. Yet, God's word in Isaiah 41:10 comforts us with this: "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God." Trust God to provide friends who honor Him, who will walk with you through the valley of recovery. These relationships, built on mutual faith, become a testimony to God's transforming power, fulfilling the prayer of 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 - that Christ's name be glorified in each of us.

Wisdom

Wisdom friendships begin with surrender to God's discernment. Proverbs 3:5-6 instructs us to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." In recovery, this means seeking God's guidance to identify relationships that align with His will.

Ask yourself: Do my friends draw me closer to Christ, or do they pull me toward old sins? Wisdom requires courage to sever ties that bind you to shame and temptation, trusting that God will provide companions who reflect His grace. As James 1:5 promises, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him."

Let wisdom guide your relationships, shaping a community where faith flourishes and God is glorified.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, you alone know the depths of our hearts, the struggles we face, and the relationships that shape us. Thank you for granting us wisdom to choose friends who honor you, who draw us closer to your truth and love. As I struggle with my recovery, with shame, guilt, and battling unforgiveness because of resentment and bitterness - thank you for softening my heart and surrounding me with godly companions who reflect your grace. Thank you for filling me with your spirit so that I may walk in forgiveness as you have forgiven me and love as you love me. May my friendships be a testament to your power, fulfilling every resolve for good, that Christ may be glorified in us. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Word of Wisdom

Choose your friends as you may choose a guide through a treacherous land. They will either lead you to the safety of God's presence or into the snares of temptation. In recovery, seek those who walk in the light of Christ, for they will uphold you when you falter and rejoice with you in victory. Let go of what binds you to the past, trusting God to provide companions who honor Him. As Proverbs 27:17 declares, "Iron sharpens Iron, and one man sharpens another." Surround yourself with those who sharpen your faith. Surround yourself with people who are like sandpaper where they are ready to polish you. And surround yourself with fellow travelers who will walk alongside with you in order to strengthen you - while all are walking worthy of His calling so that you may Glorify His name.

Devotional Message

Recovery is a spiritual battle of the mind, heart, and spirit of humanity and the friends we choose are either our allies or our adversaries in that fight. For many of us in recovery, friendships are not simply social connections. They are spiritual anchors. Proverbs 13:20 is at the heart of genuine and authentic relationships, discipleships, and presents us with the understanding that "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm." This is not a mere suggestion - it's a divine principle.

let's consider this thought: If you are battling addiction, struggling to overcome shame, guilt, or unforgiveness, the people around you either strengthen your resolve or tempt you to stumble. I've counseled many people over the years, and one of the hardest truths in recovery is this: toxic relationships and friendships can unravel a person's progress. This is also true within the Christian faith.

Turn with me to 1 Corinthians 15:33 where it says, "Do not be deceived: 'Bad company ruins good morals'." This is a gut-punch verse for those of us in recovery. I remember my own struggle, and stubbornness, where I consistently clinged too old friends out of fear of loneliness. Even when their influence pulled me back to destructive behaviors and habits. The fear of isolation is quite real, however, God's Word is much clearer: Bad company corrupts absolutely. And the fact here is that Paul says that we are not to deceive ourselves in relation to bad companionship and company.

Ask yourself:

Do my friends encourage me to honor God?
Do they pray with me?
Do they hold me accountable or enable me?
Are they speaking life into my recover and invest in my spiritual growth in faith through Christ?
Or do they dismiss my faith and enable old habits where I am vulnerable to temptation that may cause me to compromise my progress and growth?

Key insight: Godly friends reflect Christ's light, reminding you of His grace and helping you crucify shame at the cross (Psalm 34:5).
Spiritual Takeaway: Surround yourself with people who pray, following the counsel of Romans 8:1 where Paul teaches that "there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." These friends don't shame you - the stand with you in sacred spaces, helping you stand firm in faith.

Vignette 1: Letting Go of Toxic Friendships

Sarah, a 32-year-old woman in recovery from alcohol addiction. For years, her social circle revolved around late-night parties and bar meetups. After finding faith in Christ and committing to sobriety, Sarah faced a painful truth: her old friends didn't support her new life.

Imagine she is sitting at her favorite watering-hole, holding a soda, looking uncomfortable as her friends pressure her to "just have one drink." She feels isolated, torn between her past and her desire to honor God.

Sarah's story is one many of us know all too well. Letting go of toxic friendships feels like losing a piece of yourself. She feared rejection, loneliness, and the ache of starting over. Yet, Hebrews 12:15 warned, "See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no 'root of bitterness' springs up and causes trouble." Her friends' influence was a root of bitterness, pulling her back to shame and temptation.

She returns home, finding herself alone in her room, tears streaming down her face. She opens her Bible to Isaiah 41:10 and reminds her, "Fear not, I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God."

With courage, Sarah began attending a Christian recovery group. There, she met Lisa, a woman who'd been sober for five years. Lisa invited Sarah to a church small group, where she found friends who prayed with her, celebrated her milestones, and reminded her of God's grace.

Through her newfound relationships, she has regular fellowships over coffee, engages in scripture study, sharing and growing in faith, praying with one another, and she now has life in her heart, mind, and spirit. She is no longer walking in shame and regret.

Her story shows the pain of letting go and yet gives insight into the beauty of God's provision. Proverbs 18:24 says, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

God replaced Sarah's toxic friendships with a community that honored Him, giving her strength to walk in sobriety.

Key Insights: Letting go of toxic relationships is painful but necessary. Trust God to provide friends who reflect His love and strengthen your recovery.

The Spiritual Weight of Friendships

Friendships in recovery carry spiritual weight because they shape your heart, mind, and soul. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (ESV) says, “Two are better than one ... For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.” God created us for community, not isolation. For those in recovery, isolation is a cunning enemy. It whispers lies: You’re unworthy. You’ll always be alone. But God’s truth in Psalm 34:5 counters this: “Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.” Godly friends reflect this radiance, reminding you that you’re forgiven, loved, and called.

Scripture Reflection: Let’s turn to Colossians 3:13 (ESV): “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Godly friends help you uproot bitterness and walk in forgiveness—not just toward others, but toward yourself. They remind you of Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Personal Application: Think about a friendship that’s weighing you down. Maybe it’s someone who dismisses your faith or tempts you to relapse. Now, imagine replacing that relationship with one that lifts you up—someone who prays with you, shares scripture, or celebrates your sobriety. That’s the community God desires for you.
Key Insight: Godly friendships are a refuge, soothing the wounds of alienation and helping you walk in forgiveness and faith.

Vignette 2: Finding Healing Through Godly Community

Michael, a 28-year-old in recovery from opioid addiction, felt trapped by his past. His old friends were still using, and every text or call was a reminder of his former life. He wanted to honor God, but the pull of those relationships was strong.

Michael receives a text: “Yo, come hang out. We got stuff.” He hesitates, then puts his phone down, overwhelmed. Michael’s fear was real: letting go meant facing loneliness. But Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV) spoke to him: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

One Sunday, Michael attended a church service. There, he met David, a recovering addict who invited him to a men’s Bible study. For the first time, Michael felt seen—not as an addict, but as a brother in Christ.

These new friends prayed over him, shared James 1:5 for wisdom, and held him accountable with love. Michael decides to join a group of men praying together. He smiles, feeling a sense of belonging. They read Proverbs 27:17 (ESV): “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

Michael’s story reminds us that God provides friends who sharpen our faith. Letting go of toxic relationships opened the door for a community that glorified Christ, giving Michael the courage to stay sober.

Key Insight: Godly friendships are a testimony to God’s transforming power, fulfilling 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12—glorifying Christ in you.

Practical Steps for Building Godly Friendships

So, how do we build friendships that honor God? Here are five practical steps, rooted in scripture, to guide you:

Seek God’s Wisdom

James 1:5 (ESV) says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” Pray for discernment to identify relationships that align with God’s will.

Evaluate Your Current Friendships

Reflect on 1 Corinthians 15:33. Do your friends draw you closer to Christ or pull you toward sin? Be honest, and don’t fear letting go of what hinders your recovery.

Join a Faith-Based Community

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us that two are better than one. Find a Christian recovery group, Bible study, or church community where you can connect with believers who understand your journey.

Practice Forgiveness

Colossians 3:13 calls us to forgive as Christ forgave us. Let go of bitterness toward old friends and seek new ones who encourage forgiveness and healing.

Be a Godly Friend

Proverbs 27:17 says iron sharpens iron. Be the friend who prays, encourages, and holds others accountable with love.

Personal Application:

This week, take one step toward building godly friendships. Maybe it’s attending a recovery meeting, joining a small group, or reaching out to someone who reflects Christ’s love. Key Insight: Wisdom-guided friendships shape a community where faith flourishes and God is glorified.

Reflection and Prayer

Let’s pause for a moment of reflection. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and think about your friendships. Are they honoring God? Are they helping you walk in sobriety and faith? If not, what’s one step you can take to align your relationships with God’s will? Prayer:

Heavenly Father, You know the depths of our hearts and the relationships that shape us. Thank You for Your wisdom to choose friends who honor You. For those struggling with toxic relationships, grant courage to let go. For those feeling isolated, provide a community that reflects Your grace. Fill us with Your Spirit, soften our hearts, and help us walk in forgiveness and love. May our friendships glorify Christ, fulfilling every resolve for good. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Call to Action and Closing Remarks

Friends, the path of recovery is sacred, and the friendships you choose are a cornerstone of that journey. As Proverbs 27:17 declares, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Surround yourself with those who sharpen your faith, who walk with you toward God’s purpose, and who help you crucify shame and guilt at the cross.

Key Insights Summation:

Godly friendships draw you closer to Christ, reflecting His grace and love (Psalm 34:5).
Letting go of toxic relationships is painful but necessary for your recovery and spiritual growth (1 Corinthians 15:33).
God provides a community that honors Him, giving you strength to walk in sobriety (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).
Wisdom-guided friendships glorify Christ, fulfilling His calling in your life (2 Thessalonians 1:11-12).

Call to Action:

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Let’s close with a word of wisdom: Choose your friends like a guide through a treacherous land. They’ll either lead you to God’s presence or into temptation. Trust God to provide companions who honor Him. Thank you for joining us today. May your friendships reflect Christ’s love, and may you walk worthy of His calling. Until next time, stay strong in faith and sober in spirit. God bless you.