Seeking Godly Counsel: Wisdom, Accountability, and Sacred Sobriety

 

Welcome to Sacred Sobriety: A Path for the Soul. I’m your host, Timothy Berman, and today I want to have a discussion that delves into a topic that may transform how we navigate life’s big decisions—seeking Godly counsel. Whether you’re in recovery, wrestling with your faith, or just trying to figure out the next step in a tough season, this episode is for you.

We’ll explore what it means to seek Godly counsel to make wise decisions and actually follow through. We’ll back it up with scripture, contrast it with the harm of unsolicited advice, and even unpack some psychological ideas—like Albert Ellis’s three musts—through a Christian lens. Plus, I’ll share some personal stories from my own journey mentoring others in recovery. 

So, grab a notebook, a coffee, and let’s grow together. My prayer is that you leave here equipped to seek God’s wisdom in a way that brings peace and purpose. Let’s get started!

Part 1: What is Godly Counsel?

What does it mean to seek Godly counsel? In a world, especially on social media, where everyone has an opinion, Godly counsel stands apart. It’s not just advice—its wisdom rooted in God’s truth, guided by His Spirit, and aimed at helping us make decisions that honor Him.

The Bible is full of encouragement to seek this kind of counsel. Take Proverbs 11:14: 'Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.' Or Proverbs 15:22: 'Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.' These verses tell us that wise decisions come from seeking input—but not just any input. It’s counsel from those who know God’s word and can point us to Him.

Godly counsel isn’t about outsourcing your decisions. It’s about partnering with others to discern God’s will through prayer, scripture, and honest conversation. It’s an anchor, especially in recovery or when your faith feels shaky. I’ve seen it in my own life—when I was new to sobriety, I needed voices that didn’t just tell me what to do but helped me hear God for myself.

Part 2: The Harm of Unsolicited Advice

Now, let’s flip the script and talk about unsolicited advice—you know, when someone offers their two cents without being asked. We’ve all been there, and while it’s often well-meaning, it can do more harm than good, especially when ministering to someone in recovery, a faith crisis, or a tough time.

Picture this: you’re fighting to stay sober, and someone says, 'Just trust God more.' Or you’re questioning your faith, and they chime in with, 'You need to read this book.' It feels like they’re not really seeing you—they’re just throwing out a fix. That can leave you feeling judged, dismissed, or even more lost.

Unsolicited advice skips the heart of the matter. It doesn’t consider your unique struggle or emotional state. In recovery, where rebuilding trust in yourself and God is so fragile, being told what to do without being heard can set you back. It’s not ministry—it’s meddling.

The Bible warns against this. James 1:19 says, 'Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.' Listening comes first. Unsolicited advice often reverses that—it’s quick to speak and slow to hear.

Part 3: Albert Ellis’s Three Musts and a Christian

Let’s dig into some psychology for a moment—Albert Ellis’s three musts. These are beliefs that fuel dysfunctional thinking, attitudes, and behaviors. Here they are:

• I must do well and win others’ approval, or I’m no good.  
• Others must treat me kindly and fairly, exactly as I want, or they’re terrible and deserve punishment.  
• Life must be fair in order for me to get what I want, when I want it, and avoid what I don’t want—or it’s unbearable.

These musts are all about self—self-worth, self-justice, self-control. But from a Christian perspective, they’re a recipe for bondage, not freedom.

Take the first must: needing approval. Philippians 2:3-4 says, 'Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.' Our value comes from God, not people’s opinions.

The second must: demanding perfect treatment. Jesus flips this in Matthew 5:44: 'Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.' We’re called to grace, not grudges.

The third: insisting life goes our way. James 4:13-15 reminds us, 'You do not know what tomorrow will bring… Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”’ God is in charge, not us.

Here’s the kicker: these musts often sneak into advice-giving. When we tell someone, ‘You must do this to be okay,’ or ‘They must change for you to heal,’ we’re feeding that dysfunction. Even when advice is requested, Christians should be cautious. Our job isn’t to fix—it’s to point people to God’s truth and let Him lead.

Part 4: Personal Examples — Mentoring in Recovery

Let me share some real-life examples. I’ve had the privilege of mentoring, discipling, and sponsoring new Christians in recovery. One question I get a lot is, ‘Should I attend this church or that one?’ Or ‘What about this spiritual discipline—like fasting or daily prayer?’

Early on, I’d give my opinion: ‘This church has a great recovery group,’ or ‘Fasting might help.’ But I noticed it wasn’t empowering them—it was making them dependent on me. So I changed my approach.

Now, I ask questions like: ‘What do you feel the Holy Spirit is speaking to you about?’ ‘What issues are you struggling with in this decision?’ ‘What are you hoping to accomplish, and how will this discipline move you toward that?’

For instance, one guy I sponsored kept asking which church to join. I said, ‘What’s drawing you to each one? How do you think it’ll support your recovery and faith?’ It shifted the focus from my answer to his process with God.

Another time, a woman asked about starting a prayer routine. I asked, ‘What’s your goal? How will this help you stay sober or grow closer to God?’ We talked it through, prayed, and she found her own path forward.

This isn’t about avoiding responsibility—it’s about helping them hear God’s voice and take ownership of their decisions.

Part 5: The Process of Seeking Godly Counsel

So, what sets seeking Godly counsel apart? It’s not about being told what to do—it’s a process of active listening, processing, and accountability.

• Active listening is step one. When you seek counsel, you need someone who hears your heart, not just your question. James 1:19—quick to hear, slow to speak—applies here. We, as Christians, want to listen to understand someone's struggle, not to jump in with solutions.
• Processing is next. This is where you wrestle together. What does scripture say? What are the costs, pros, and cons? It’s not a one-way lecture—it’s a dialogue to discern God’s will. For example, in recovery, you might process whether a new habit will support sobriety or add pressure.
• Accountability seals the deal. Godly counsel doesn’t end with advice—it follows through. As faithful Christians, someone prays with you, checks in, and helps you stick to the decision you’ve made with God’s guidance.

Compare that to solicited or unsolicited advice. Too often, it’s just, ‘Here’s what to do—good luck!’ There’s no processing, no weighing options, no follow-up. That leaves you stuck, not stronger. Godly counsel builds you up to decide and act wisely.

Part 6: Practical Tips for Seeking and Providing Godly Counsel

Let’s wrap up with some practical steps.

For Seeking Godly Counsel:  

• Start with prayer. Ask God to guide you and lead you to the right people.  
• Pick wisely. Seek counselors who know scripture, live their faith, and listen well.  
• Be honest. Share your struggles and be open to tough insights.  
• Process together. Discuss options, not just answers.  
• Stay accountable. Commit to follow through and let them support you.

For Providing Godly Counsel:  

• Listen first. Don’t rush to speak—hear them out.  
• Use scripture. Ground your guidance in God’s word.  
• Ask questions. Help them reflect: ‘What’s God saying? What’s your goal?’  
• Pray together. Invite the Holy Spirit into the decision.  
• Follow up. Be a partner, not a one-time voice.

This process keeps God at the center and builds lasting growth.

Conclusion

Seeking Godly counsel isn’t a quick fix—it’s a sacred journey. It’s about making wise decisions with God’s help, following through with accountability, and growing in faith. Unlike unsolicited advice, it doesn’t harm—it heals.

If you’re in recovery, a faith crisis, or a hard season, I encourage you: seek counsel that points you to God. And if you’re giving counsel, do it with humility and care. Let’s keep walking this path of sacred sobriety together.

Thanks for joining me on Sacred Sobriety. If this blessed you, subscribe and share. See you next time!

Being an Impeccable and Authentic Christian Through Our Word

Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash 

The word is not just a sound or a written symbol. The word is a force; it is the power you have to express and communicate, to think, and thereby to create the events in your life. You can speak. ... The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human; it is the tool of magic. But like a sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you.

~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements - Be Impeccable with Your Word, p. 26 ~

The Gospel of John opens up with this statement of declaration regarding Christ and his divine authority:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The He was with God in the beginning. All things came to be through him, and without him nothing made had being. ⁴ In him was life; and the life was the light of mankind. 

John 1:1-4, CJB

In the Greek, the WORD is LOGOS, and it is the word that gives us the term Logic. We understand that Christ was with our Heavenly Father in the beginning. He is the voice of God. This is validated throughout the New Testament. Christ spoke with authority. As we are representatives ministering in the name of Christ, we too speak in authority on His behalf.

What does it mean to be impeccable with our words? How does this translate into us speaking with authority?

As One having authority

We look to Mark 1:21-28 regarding how Christ spoke:

They entered K'Far-Nachum, and on Shabbat Yeshua went into the synagogue and began teaching. They were amazed at the way he taught, for he did not instruct them like the Torah-teachers but as one who had authority himself. In their synagogue just then was a man with an unclean spirit in him, who shouted, "What do you want with us, Yeshua from Natzeret? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are - the Holy One of God!" But Yeshua rebuked the unclean spirit, "Be quite and come out of him!" Throwing the man into a convulsion, it gave a loud shriek and came out of him. They were all so astounded that they began asking each other, "What is this? A new teaching, one with authority behind it! He gives orders even to the unclean spirits, and they obey him!" And the news about him spread quickly through the whole region of the Galil. 

This is compared to Matthew 7:28-29:

When Yeshua had finished saying these things the crowds were amazed at the way he taught, for he was not instructing them like their Torah-teachers but as one who had authority himself.

Christ was impeccable with his words. When he taught it was with authority and not as the religious leaders had taught. When he ministered, he ministered under the authority of God's divine power and grace. This is evidenced in the Great High Priestly prayer of John 17. Here, we see Christ praying to the Father and declaring the words he received from the father, he also given to the disciples. Through the word (logic and reason) we come to know:

• The Truth
• Sanctified through its power and instruction
• Creates fulfillment and joy in our lives
• Generates faith and belief
• Unifies us with God the Father and Jesus Christ
• Expresses divine love and grace through its power

How many of us understand the dangerous power of the Word of God? I hear this all the time in various conversations. Yet, what does it mean to believe on the Word of God? Most merely reference the word of God as it is associated with the Bible. They conclude that the Bible is the final authoritative word of God. However, do you fully understand what is being said?

This is not a passing expression (as many today have appeared to use). It is one of the most dangerous characteristics of being a Christian in today's social climate and divisiveness. Here is what Alastair Roberts writes in his blog article: As One Having Authority - Mark 1:28-29

One of the dangerous yet important characteristics of the Church’s ministry is its authoritative speech: authorized by Christ himself, the Church is to communicate Christ’s own authority, obliging and releasing people to act in line with it. The Church does not just dispense advice but declares the word of Christ which obliges us to follow and by which one day we will be judged. The authoritative word of Christ furnishes lost and disoriented people with truthful ways of life.

The powerful word of God is not limited to a collection of 66 books. Christ is referred to as the Living word of God. He spoke on authority and taught what the Father had gave Christ to teach. Through Christ, we also are the Living words of God. Through us, we speak the truth and minister as Christ ministered.

On one occasion, the Savior spoke this truth to His disciples:

Yes, indeed! I tell you that whoever trusts in me will also do the works I do! Indeed, he will do greater ones, because I am going to the Father. In fact, whatever you ask for in my name, I will do; so that the Father may be glorified in the Son If you ask me for something in my name, I will do it.

John 14:12-14, CJB

Through our faith in God the Father and Jesus Christ, we are empowered to do the works of Christ, and even greater works. This includes mindful and sincere heartfelt prayer in asking for God's guidance, wisdom, intervention, and strength. All to further glorify the Father and Son.

It is through our faith in Jesus Christ that we are able to speak as one having authority. To call all men unto repentance. To forgive those who have trespassed against us. To preach with authority against the many seeds of doubt and fear. Our very words are impeccable where it brings light of hope, love, and truth within the darkest regions of the human heart. It beckons us to be a light unto the world.

Christ meets the woman caught in adultery

Speaking without sin

One of the hallmarks of Christ's authority is captured in the scene where a woman is brought before him. She was caught in the act of adultery. As an attempt to trap the Savior, the religious leaders and crowd awaited his response as to the condemnation and judgment based upon the established law (John 8:3-11, CJB)

Being an authentic Christian and being impeccable with our word means we do so in a manner that is without sin. Here is how Ruiz explains the first agreement:

Now let us see what the word impeccability means. ... Impeccable comes from the Latin pecatus, which means "sin." The im ... means "without," so impeccable means "without sin."

Ruiz further explains that this is speaking without judgment or blame. Specifically, toward oneself. However, this also means that when we speak with authority, it is done in a manner where we are not speaking out of judgment, criticism, blame, or in being condescending toward others. Christ spoke with authority: First toward the crowd ready to cast stones at the woman, and secondly toward the woman when he called her to repentance and asked her to stand and go forth to sin no more.

Unfortunately, many Christians preach and minister in a manner that is contrary to the way Christ ministered. This is evidenced in their conversations and tactics in so-called preaching the gospel through a spirit of contention and condescension toward others.

Let us not confuse this powerful ability to speak with divine authority. Truth will come across with harshness toward those in need of salvation and redemption. Scripture is clear on this. Yet, we do not have the authority to judge or condemn someone - that is reserved for the Savior. We do have the authority to preach the Gospel, call all people unto repentance, and teach them all that the Savior has commanded through discipleship.

When we are impeccable (meaning, we are ministering without sin in our hearts) in our words we speak the truth and love of Christ into the lives of those who are:

• Despondent
• Feeling lost and abandoned
• Experiencing adversity and despair
• Overwhelmed and burdened
• Experiencing fear and doubt
• Lacking hope and faith
• discouraged, disappointed, and let down
• experiencing health issues
• suffering

This is accomplished through mindfulness. We are not judging them, criticizing them, or putting them down. Instead, we are meeting them where they presently are. Speaking truth in love and comfort. Being compassionate and empathetic. We are not using terms couched in cliches. Our words are authentic and genuine.

In essence, when we speak without sin, we are speaking in a manner that is not rejecting of another person. This begins with how we speak to ourselves and accepting who we are through Christ's divine authority and grace. Until we heal ourselves and come unto Christ and seek his Forgiveness, we are not able to speak with authority and without sin.

Words bring healing and restoration

Another characteristic of Christ's ability to speak with authority is through the healing of individuals. People were not only amazed that Christ taught with authority (unlike scribes and religious leaders); they were also amazed at the power of his words that brought healing and restoration. 

One of the most interesting accounts is the healing of the man with palsy (Mark 2:1-12, CJB)

As Christians, our words have the divine power and authority to heal and restore. As we have come to understand, we shall do the works of Christ, and even do greater works than he has done. This may raise the question as whether or not there are healings today as there were in the time of Christ. I even came across one comment regarding someone asking how come God does not restore an amputee's hand?

First, we must understand that we have come far along in the field of medical science. What we are able to do today, was not available during the First Century. In a manner of speaking, God has provided us the means to restore limbs to people. They may not be flesh and bone limbs, however, many have gone on to great success with artificial limbs. Furthermore, there is the exploration of medical science and robotics. Secondly, healing and restoration begins with faith. Each encounter we read about where Christ heals - stems from the faith of those around the individual, and the individual themselves in taking the necessary action and following Christ's authority and word.

When we speak, without sin, and have faith in Christ, our words bring healing and restoration to those who are broken and lost. Has the power to lift others out of despair. Bring comfort during times of sorrow and suffering.

The Apostle Paul instructs us on how we bring restoration and healing within our families, and communities (Romans 12:4-18, CJB)

Here, we understand that healing and restoration rests upon our faith. It also rests upon our ability to show love and affection toward one another. Through this, we show mercy, and are able to effectively serve the Lord through our words and deeds. It also means we continue with fervent prayer and maintain patience in times of adversity.

Being impeccable with our words requires us to minister to those in need. Through our words we bring healing and restoration. While this may not manifest in physical healing, it may very well reach into the depths of the soul and bring to pass healing and restoration of faith and hope. This is quite true during our time where we have seen significant changes in how we are living our lives out.

While it is true that there are many in our society seeking after wickedness as a means to bring happiness and joy into their lives. Our duty and obligation are to speak truth in love and grace to bring healing and restoration to those who have found themselves bound in misery.

Conclusion

We are definitely living in unprecedented times. How we minister is based on whether we are authentic and impeccable with our word. Exercising our genuine faith in Jesus Christ, we have the power to speak with great authority. Through genuine faith in Jesus Christ, we have the power and authority to speak without sin. And through our genuine faith in Jesus Christ, we have the power to speak healing and restoration in the lives of those darken by sin and transgression.

Therefore, let us emulate our Savior and harness the power and authority of God in speaking truth that sanctifies, calls people unto repentance, and motivates others to walk in faith and obedience to all that Christ has taught and commanded us. 

40-day Callenge | Go Forward with Faith and Purpose

 

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?
~ Matthew 16:24-26, ESV ~

For members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints this life has significant meaning and purpose. As we engage in our journey through the Come Follow Me – Old Testament Study there is a call upon each of us to seek after Christ, to be all the more converted, and to be equipped and grow spiritually. This life is much more significant when we realize that each one of us is on our own journey. A journey toward a defined destination because of the infinite atonement of Jesus Christ. A journey that sees fulfilment of our Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness.

As you study through the Old Testament this year – be sure to follow the admonish of our Savior. Take up thy cross and deny thyself so that we may find our own path, our own meaning, and our own purpose. This will help us discover the answer to life’s challenges we shall face in the coming year. It also helps us understand the reason for our own existence and what purpose our Heavenly Father has called us to. With this perspective one may find a reduction in anxiety, worry, stress, and bring thoughtful and meaningful decision making. One may also experience an increase in satisfaction in knowing who they are and where they are headed as we strive to endure and overcome as Christ has endured and overcame (Revelation 3:21).

READ MORE HERE: 40-DAY CHALLENGE